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Misc
Understanding doesn't result forgiveness
Fri, 10/02/2009 - 19:22 | by Mgccl
Today I was on Facebook, telling someone I have free this Saturday. Since she was asking me when am I free in this weekend for physics help.
My physics skills are lame, but for some reason I can do a lot of physics problems... If you are taking classical physics, just watch this course Walter Lewin.
That's beside the point.
But it wasn't her on facebook, but her boyfriend. He seems a bit too protective. saying stuff like "Don't try anything funny." and then goes to a generalization say how guys tries to do w/e. Then he added "Not directed to you or anything."
As a lame person I am, I thought "Hey, that's not directed to me."
After a while, I realized. He IS directing it to me. Wow, I really should talk to people more so I know what they really mean. I read textbook way too much...
Later I knew the reason and I come to fully understand it. I might do the same thing if I'm in his situation.
Problem. I still can't forgive him.
Why is that? I'm a shallow person? Doesn't that mean I might not forgive something I would do?
Clearly I can see why I should not be happy about this, but how come after understanding the situation, I'm still not happy about it?
Maybe because I feel like I was using my time to do something helpful to others and not getting appreciated.
I have a MAT 305 middle term on Monday and my knowledge on the topic are minimal. I do like to have a high GPA because I have a few objectives that require a high GPA.
I'm not like... "Ahh, I have nothing to do everyday, I'm so bored I'm going to offer free physics help to people for my own entertainment". Sure I'm not in any clubs, but I have ACM and Putnam to worry about. I don't even get good sleep because I'm keep thinking about the problem before I fall unconscious.
By generously offering some of my time to help other's with physics, and I get insulted before hand? How can I be happy?
Not happy, reasonable... before the understanding of course...
but after the understanding, I'm still not happy.
I can't tell my brain what to feel. "I'm not suppose to be unhappy because it is just a misunderstanding. Even though it cause me some unhappiness, understanding is what's truly important."
What would make me happy? A apology from him? idk.
If that make me happy, then I will be really confused.
I rarely care how other people thinks, this apology is just a verification of what a specific person believes.
I guess I will forgive him in like a few hours when I'm getting pwned by my MAT 305 text.
Oh I'm skipping 305 like... all the time... lol. HW and other stuff are up online anyway. I'm better by just reading the textbook.
I always goes "I will never forgive someone for doing something" and forgive them in like a day. Is that a good evolutionary trait?
For me, forgiveness is a result of time not understanding.
Interesting.
M: 15.1051101685MB, T: 4.05569791794s, QC: 141, QT: 0.0331032276154s, RT: 4.02259469032s
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Comments
The boyfriend was just being
The boyfriend was just being a jerk- overprotective boyfriends seem to be some sort of recurring theme. especially in teen dramas, soap operas, and crappy chick-lit.
Ignore him.
However, please do try to pay more attention to implicit meanings (not derivatives).
About the tutoring; If you feel as though what you are doing is helpful and it makes you feel accomplished, then continue despite any adversity. People tend to forget thank yous, and just assume that the person putting out effort already knows that they are thankful to them. (sorry about all the vague pronouns). Make sure that if you are ever in the opposite situation, where you are getting help from somebody, thank them for their effort, and show that you appreciate their help.
(and again, just ignore the boyfriend hahaha)
Forgiveness really does tend to be mainly dependent on time. However, without you fully understanding that the boyfriend was directing his comment at you, you never would have forgiven him (because you wouldn't have realized anything that needed to be forgive in the first place) you first need understanding of the situation and secondly, understanding of the person's motives. Maybe the boyfriend loves the girl very much, and is afraid of people offending her (maybe a past experience, where the girl was hit on by a person who was supposed to be helping her), or perhaps he just wants to issue a warning so that nothing that could be bad will happen. Without this kind of understanding, a person just stews over the fact that they were snubbed, and forgiveness never comes.
... sorry, i seem to have made a speech.
awesome~ good stuff yo :) I
awesome~
good stuff yo :)
I learned some stuff.
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