This is the first time I feel I have failed my life.
It's time to look for colleges, and I have nothing, completely nothing that's really good to put on colleges apps.
My GPA is killing me. For 9th to 10th grade, my GPA is 86%.
Mostly due to me not doing homework, because I don't see the reasoning. I have mastered a course, what's the point of doing homework? I should do something more productive, more useful to the economy and the tax money, like reading more advanced text.
That's one of the failure thoughts, like communism. A person should confine to the sociality, and do what he should do in order to be recognized.
If I had just used all the time I have on doing school work and do them well, and not going beyond what the school can offer. I might be able to get into great colleges. But now, since I haven't do what a student suppose to do, I have terrible GPA.
I will take up the responsibility, I'm the one forcing myself into a corner like this, I have to get myself out.
It's interesting that no matter what I can get on SAT or how many 5s I get on the APs, nothing can cover my GPA flaw. I had a talk with my mom, she told me it's better to copy homework from other people than not doing any. If it was a month ago, I would ROFLMAO. At that time, I didn't understand the people who copy other's homeworks. Why? Why do you want the hw credit so bad? Does it even matter?

Fate paints the best irony.

What will I do now? No, I will not copy homework for GPA(maybe for something else). My life ethics teaches me NOT to cheat.
I will put more effort into my formal academic life instead of my informal ones. I don't agree with the current education system. What can I do? I have no say until I have power. I can't change the world until I have the authority. Be the sociality's pet is the only way to gain authority.

And, if it come to the point where I absolutely can't show something nice for college.

I will take my chances and go to China and piss off the Chinese government by practicing FaLun Gong and spread info about Taianmen Square massacre in front of the People's Hall. So I will get beaten + detained until ambassador come to save me. Then I can write that in my college essay. I have to eat all the Chinese food I can and travel about the great views in China before I do that. If I get deported, I will never have a chance to go back to China again.

I have always wanted to do something against the Chinese government's censorship and policy, this might be a good chance to kill two birds with one stone.

Even if my plan fail. For example, ambassador forget about me, I got shot when I was giving out papers, or I died during detainment for w/e strange reason. I at least tried my best to make a difference in this world + trying to get into MIT, and I should have no regrets.