For the past few days, I have been working on my AP test. I'm trying to get 5s on all my AP test despite I never took the course. The first AP test I'm taking is on May 6th.
I'm taking AP computer science AB, AP statistics, AP Calculus BC, AP Chinese[I am Chinese so I'm pwning this test like 90% of the test takers] and AP Chemistry.
I'm currently enrolled in AP Chemistry, so I have to study from the ground up for the 3 test left. I thought I can finish three college level course in a week, and it's not as easy as I thought, so I'm spending a lot of extra time these days, averaging 4 hours of sleep and the rest time is study.(I go to school but I don't listen in class... ever... the school is restricting my potentials)

Today, I didn't go to school. Catch up on my sleep and do more study.

I'm overwhelmed... but I still take the time to blog, because I saw a great post card, a very inspiring post card.

I eventually will die, if I can't handle the work load, I can never succeed. Then I will not just die, I would die in regret. Regretting why I didn't work harder on life, to get what I always wanted.

When people ask me why I chose to take so many tests when I never learned anything about it. I tell them the fake reasons I can think of:

I do APs for the lolz.

if I get all 5 after 1 week of study, that means AP test are overrated, and that would be an great newspaper commentary in our school newspaper. Also giving people hope that they can study the week before the test.

The AP calc test is the highest level of the standardized math test that I can handle right now1. I like to reach the climax of my ability, it's like a math orgasm.

But really, I'm doing it to prove something. Prove something to myself, not anyone else.
I want to know my capabilities--can I handle everything thrown at me?
People said I always do things that in the end screw myself. They are right.
I make many mistakes that work in the way I did not expected, and putting me in a worse situation than before. But, it's a great thing, getting screwed by my own choice.
Each screwing give me more knowledge about what I can handle, and I will not get screwed the same way again. I, as a person, learn and grow from getting screwed by own my decisions.

I also want to prove how much no-life I can get. I have to keep myself from having a life if I want to get into USAMO because I don't have talent, I can only work though hard work and hope people who have talent doesn't work as hard.

I am overwhelmed. But when I die, I can rest happily because I know I have never backed down from the overwhelming work. I did my best.

This Saturday I also have to take the SATs.
After the APs, I will have a 1 day rest, and I will start to work on math.
Taking ACT in June.
Expect this blog became very math oriented starting at June.

Hope this card inspires you too.

1. 1. GRE Mathematics Subject test is the climax of all standardized math subject test