My mom arrived in US. And brought me 3 books.
One of them is about I Ching and using hexagrams to solve xMO level math problems.
The hexagrams' Yin and Yang parts maps to 0 and 1, or -1 and 1 respectively.
It's quite easy to use the 0,1 to form a Boolean Algebra and then using that to solve Olympiad problems. Also it was shown to solve the game Nim and a few classic coloring problems.
1 and -1 can form a Abelian group(-1,1), solve another set of math problem.
A Boolean vector can represent graphs, solves yet another kind of math problem.
It also consist of some discrete probability things...
and more...

It's just using the I Ching terminology as a isomorphism to modern mathematics.
Quite interesting. It's not useful, but it proves a point. That I Ching's hexagrams' structure has many mathematical ideas that's considered quite modern.

This graph limited the mind of ancient Chinese mathematician. Sad.
If they have done mathematics just for the sake of it instead of using it for real application only, then maybe, we can have a lot more useful theorems.

In most dynasties, mathematicians have very low social status. But people who does I Ching have high status due to common people and philosophers believe I Ching is the answer to everything(like 42.) So Chinese mathematicians start to do math that related to I Ching, and rarely let themselves to do math outside the I Ching framework.

I hope I get a decent job doing math.

On the lunch table, there were a conversation going on. Where Matt and Peter mentioned something about bitch and transitive relation.

It's over 9000!

I don't believe it!
I feel it's like saying:
"I'm filled with lead because I eat rice imported from China. So I have natural shielding against Gamma radiation."
You are doing it wrong!
Bitch is a binary relation, let's use "" to detonate A is B's bitch. This binary relations says B will do what A asks.
They theory:


then

I don't believe in it.
Record of the conversation, paraphrased for clarity, P(Peter), S(Matt) and M(Mgccl).

M: (to S) If you are my bitch, and P is your bitch, how does that makes P my bitch?
S: If I'm your bitch, you can order me to do something so I can order P to do something.
M: How can you be sure that P will listen to me?
S: There is an level between two bitches, you can command me then I command P to do your job.
M: Doesn't that allows a cycle? What if I'm P's bitch? Then it forms a cycle and everyone becomes everyone's bitch. Like six degree of separation, there must be a six degree of bitchness.(clear phrase would be six degree of bitch separation)
P: How about let's test your theory, you go to the security guard and let you go in (w/e place I forgot)...
M: Then I have to find whom he belong to.
P: It's like six degree of Kevin Bacon.
M: OMG I love bacon, it's so tasty, it's $2.99 per pound in Wal-mart.

Distracted...
But I should stop when I saw this

There is an level between two bitches, you can command me then I command P to do your job.

Then it is not transitive property anymore.
Unless bitch is a relation says if A can order B direct or indirectly. But that would form a cycle for sure, there is no way the entire human population isn't connected though bitch-bitchmaster connection. It will certainly cause everyone to be my bitch, and I'm everyone's bitch.(A directed cyclic graph)
Which makes the binary relation bitch not useful at all, making it can't explain anything, it has no mathematical value.
Bitch have to be a binary relation that doesn't include indirect control.
Just my 2 cents.
The Hillary picture have nothing to do with this article.
So is this picture, but instead of Hillary, it's a very cute Japanese girl.
Ok what is with me and Asians these days...

When I first entered BNL summer research program, I was told the cafeteria offers 20% discount to research students.
After some investigation, it is in fact, not correct. I feel like BNL lied to me, cheated on me. I don't feel safe at BNL anymore.

Suppose function f(x) = amount I pay for food that normally cost $x. The definition of f(x) is:

Graph of f(x) compare to x and 0.8x


Graph of d(x) compare to 0.8

Graph of f(x) using d(x) with some transformation as gradient. darker = less percent discount.

Function s(x) is the average discount from 0 to x. Defined as

s(15) = 0.85
s(x) is a monotonic increasing function for x>15.
So on average, if one spend $15 or more, one has less than 15% discount!

After analyze the entire system, how can we take advantage of it and get as much discount as possible?
You can break the order into pieces so it fit into some range, or combine order with someone else to get maximum profit.
For example, a $7(with tax) order composed of 2 $3.5 lasagna. Normally you pay $6, but split it into two orders, you pay$5.5. Doing it everyday can save up to $15 when the research program ends!
I don't have enough skills on problems like this, my guess is there is no simple analytical formula to find how exactly buy stuff to get the best result, it's best to use computer to find a numerical answer.

Without out a computer, you have to do a little calculations, bring a table of values would be nice, here is one from $3.5 to $15, every 10 cents gap. With amount of money before savings and discount expected. Orange = 20+% discount, Yellow = 18.75+% discount.(remember to add tax while looking at the menu)

Someone can design a program so it's possible to calculate the most optimal solution if at most order splits is possible for individual food with each of the food's price .

P.S. The summer science program(Research Program:Science Program::Gentoo:Ubuntu) started today. So many Asian girls!(at least 8) it's unbelievable! It's like MIT! Haha, I was wondering where's the Asian when I entered the research program(only me + 1 more person).

This article is an analogy of doing math related work and having sex, not math phrases and sentences interpreted as a sexual innuendo, even though there are massive amount of obvious sexual innuendos.
When ever I start getting excited about math and talks about them, there will be (a lot of) people using expressions like.
"Does that make you feel hot/hard/sexually aroused?"
I'm the kind of person who people considers as no life, and I live up to their expectations. I actually think about everything people say, think it so deep that I can write essays about it.
After a stream of thought about how people can connect math and sex, I conclude that doing math problems is a great analogue of having sex. In fact, it is not just an analogy to normal sex, it can be extended to all kind of sex and fetishes.

History:
People have believe it was all started during the Shang Dynasty, where scholars uses their math textbooks as masturbation materials. It is a myth and lack of proof. The written language was Oracle bone script and Chinese bronze inscriptions, it's highly disputable they can find portable mathematics reading material. So if it's ever possible, they have to create a specialized masturbation room with a huge bronze structure with inscriptions. Only rich could afforded it, and the poor have to go to a public masturbation forum to fill their needs. The archaeological findings does not show evidence of such structures ever existed.
If there is(if ever) any case of mathematics induced masturbation in China, it has to be at least from Han Dynasty and forward, when The Nine Chapters on the Mathematical Art was first released on paper. I would say those materials are barely arousing in today's standard, and still doubt the chance one actually masturbates to a math textbook.
After the middle ages, white people start to rise as the world leader in mathematics.
It's said on Encyclopedia that mathematicians masturbates to Prime Number Shitting Bear. Later investigations found it is completely true for number theorists but never happens to analysts, since they like to explore on continuous curves while recite their fantasies include "I'm going to lie tangent to 's curves." An exception: Japanese mathematicians don't masturbates these days due to the ever smaller size of their reproductive organ that's not even possible to find unless there is a break through in elliptic curves. I personally believe that Yutaka Taniyama's death is associated with his conjecture on elliptic curves over arbitrary number fields seems too hard to prove. As he puts in his suicide note:

Merely may I say, I am in the frame of mind that I lost confidence in my future.

It can be traced even earlier to Fermat, where he tried to do it in the margin but failed. Later mathematicians tried to do it for over 300 years and still failed, so it was crowed the name "Fermat's Lust Theorem" until it was finally resolved in 1995 by some British dude called Andrew Wiles.

Geometers Loves this...

Recently, Peter Miller uses math to generate erotic images.[Maybe too graphic for work]. Suggesting human sex can be emulated by simple math algorithms.
It's not known when exactly math get connected with sex, but we can see a lot of interesting similarities of math and sex. Here is a list compiled by an someone, whose name can't be found.

Top Ten Things That Math and Sex Have in Common
10. Explicit discussions of either topic is a faux pas at most cocktail parties.
9. Historically, men have been in control, but there are now efforts to get women more involved.
8. There are many joint results.
7. Both are prominent on college campuses, and are usually practiced indoors.
6. Most people wish they knew more about both subjects.
5. Both involve long and hard problems, and can produce interesting topology and geometry.
4. Both merit undivided attention, but mathematicians are prone to think about one while doing the other.
3. Saint Augustine was hostile to both, and Alan Turing took an unusual approach to both.
2. Both typically begin with a lot of hard work and end with a great but brief reward.
1. Professionals are generally viewed with suspicion, and most do not earn high pay.

Real analysts everywhere gets aroused by this graph, it once on the cover of PlayMathematicians Monthly^{[citation needed]}

To me, I only done 5 math works:
1. Do math problems
2. Read math books
3. Research
4. ????
5. Profit!
and I'm amazed how many analogies I can make between this and sex, it reveals a possibility math could be the generalized version of sex.

Do math problems
Doing a math problem produces a process of thinking. Involves finding all kind of information and technique one knows, and lead up to the final solution. Or, fails during the process, but let one understand more about themselves.
In this case, a math problem can be thought as a person. At the start, planning the techniques to solve the problem shows a serious foreplay. It start to take the clothes off the problems until it's all naked and can be easily solved. A in depth search of all techniques available to approach the problem can translate to a comprehensive caress of the entire body, or even a oily massage.
After the massage, the main course starts, a mathematician have to apply what he thought he can do, and make the best out of it. This tests his endurance, intelligence and field experience.
Successfully complete a problem, one often have a ejaculation of joy and intelligence. The build up from the past phase have finally released the orgasm. Because one knows that he did more than just conquer the problem, he also conquered himself, and all the related problem there is to come.
After find the solution, a mathematician usually have a small rest of joy, and then rethink what had happened, should it happen, are there more elegant way(positions) to do the problem, can one conceive from this and pregnant with new ideas, can one father, nurture the ideas until it's full grown and release it to the world and bring about other mathematicians to do them?

Read math
There are two kinds of math books, like sex books.
One for recreational purpose, and one for educational purpose.
The latter one include all those math textbooks and some in depth teachings. Indian mathematician Jagadguru Swami Sri Bharati Krishna Tirthaji Maharaja created a interesting one, Vedic math, the Kama Sutra of mathematics. Those books teaches techniques and offer case studies in real life. It prepares people when they meet the problem they love.
Concrete mathematics did a great job on how to do it discretely, instead of continuously like Newton.
There are even books like The art of computer programming featuring ways to use foreign objects(the computer) to do it automatically. Some supercomputers are developed just for this objective, and it can do over 1 PFLOPS(peta-FLoating point Operations Per Second) that normally creates a time portal for the current CPU to do it in the future!
There are books teach how to have quickies with simple pure calculation class problems. Some believe books like that is recreational mathematics.
Recreational math books is same as pornography. It contain texts and many plots, graphs of the very erotic side of math and related things. It have covered people with all kind of fetish, like LaTex, Simple geometric constructs(Loli?), a autobiographical experience of a mathematician and famous problem he had done(POV?), about one have external difficulties against one's math life(Bondage?), popular math books with pictures and a boring plot(Hentai?), popular math books where a problem is done with many different ways at the same time and fill up all the logical holes one can have(tenta... let's not go there...). There are books in other languages too, feeling like read a Chinese problems tonight? Real mathematicians(yeah, the real players) read them just to enjoy some new perspectives on the problem they done(probably last night, ohhh!!! Hi 5.) or gain some insights from other mathematicians life. Amateurs use them to see how other people did it, and try to feel what it would feel like if they did it themselves. Sounds dirty? It is.

Research
The researchers in mathematics are Lewis and Clark who constantly discovering new problems and be the first one to do them. Not much to say about that, they are ahead of everyone in finding problems in particular areas and struggle with them for days... even for life... Happy marriage...

?????
The rest uses extended metaphor to reduce simile and make points. Many analogies spread out randomly without structure.

You will see a hard problem, maybe even using up all your techniques still isn't enough to make it happy.

There are always people who are hard to please in bed.

Some problems get laid by almost everyone, we can refer them as slut problems, all of them are extremely easy. One of the most laid slut is 1+1, who has had sex with almost everyone, even minors. It's usually the first problem that introduced naive students into the world of problems. Some people even like to talk to their kids about their first experience with it, some even direct their children to do it, few even write books features it. Of course, the people who got raped by 1+1 despite all mathematics.

The standard education system helped many slut problems rape innocent students, a reform is recommended.

Goldbach's conjecture(GC) has to be one of the crown jewel of mathematical problems. It endured many sexual advances from famous mathematicians include Euler, but no success for over 250 years since it was discovered in the field of integers as a young cute problem. Interestingly these days cranks like it mature, and often claims they have deflowered the virgin, but later is shown they just lied for fame.

Like in the real world, some drunk guy in a bar would claim he have done w/e celebrity...

Mathematicians can work on many problems at once. When is the last time you had sex with 5 people at the same time? There are even contest of mathematics, where organizers find many very hot problems and give it to some of the most mathematically active contestants for a limited amount of time, and compete to see who successfully brings a "happy ending" to most problems in the shortest time or even, make the most problem happy with the most elegant techniques. It's impressive some scored perfectly.

The sexual analogy is rarely seen in the real world, where thousands of people get together to have sex is unheard of out side Japan1.
The above quote brings about the idea that a problem can superposition in a way that hundreds of people can do it simultaneously. Not possible in real life unless mathematics is in a higher dimension(the 4th or higher since it manipulates time) of having sex.

Doing mathematics is usually a collaborated event, sometimes range to thousands of people. Someone suggested a hot problem and the entire world get worked up, and help each other as a group, establish a bond like a gang, using their knowledge to contribute so they can finally share the joy of release their intellects...

Thousand of people can collaborate so everyone can have a share in the glory, doesn't it enrich normal sex that only allow n(n<10) to have glory to m(m<number of humans)? Math seems to be a generalized version of sex.

Mathematician do math everywhere at anytime.

People have sex everywhere.

A mathematician can chose the field he likes most and work on those problems. Those include number theory, analysis, topology.

See, like in real life, mathematicians find partners he favors most. Some might prefer blue eyes(maybe it's number theory), some might prefer shorter hair.

Herman Melville wrote Möbius-Dick as a sequel to Moby-Dick after learned the fantastic Möbius strip.^{[citation needed]}

No comment.

In mathematicians world, after doing one problem in a family, one can lose interest in it's sibling, but it is true that mathematicians end up having sex with the problem's sister... and mom... and dad... and momdad... and other mathematicians watch in enjoyment.

It seems mathematics can have a more comprehensive moral topology compare to the normal sociality. There can be more than 2 parents. Parent to child relationship is still true, in graph theory representation, both are directed acyclic graph(if the mathematician is not considered as a parent), and the math one is more generalized as the sex one.
It supports the math = generalized sex conjure.
Prove/Disprove is not trivial, and itself is a immense problem. One suggests using computer to test all the sex ever and will be done in the world(it's a finite set) and see if it correspond to some element in the math world. But it requires to factor all complex composite sex intercourse into it's Gaussian prime components, which already proven as NP problem, no efficient method is known.

Anyway, this is just some of my thoughts, please discuss what you think and your experience with math.
I would also like to apologize to Yutaka Taniyama for making a disrespectful joke out of his suicide and the Japanese people by using stereotypical jokes.

Profit!
I hope you get some lulz... and plz no hate males.

1. 1. People ask me how I know this. I knew it because I was in Japan once and it was on TV. Yes I did pay to watch it but that's not the point... Ok come on, it was EPIC!!!

BNL lunch break.
Adam was talking about a function T(f(x),g(x)) that takes any linear function f(x) and apply g(x), but make it seems like f(x) is the x-axis.
Without drawing a graph, it's quite ambiguous of what the above sentence mean.
A graph example, where f(x) = x, g(x) = sin(x).

So I told him, to do that, just do the g(x) on x-axis and then rotate the entire graph with the origin as center until the original x-axis is on f(x).

He then asked, what if f(x) is not a linear function.

For a second I can't think of something out, and soon, I was distracted so I said I will look up tonight.

On the road back to my office, the answer popped up. My answer is trivial and it's just one way to see the question, and I believe there must be other ways.

T(f(x),g(x)) generates a graph, where each point of the graph is the point g(x) away from (x, f(x)) and on the line that perpendicular to f'(x) and intersects (x,f(x)).

Finding a universal equation for this T(f(x),g(x)) to graph it:
It's trivial. The above description almost instantly lead to the result.

I have to use parametric, because can be a one to many function even if both functions are one to one functions.
If f(x) is not differentiable at some points, then the graph is not defined at those points.
Some nice graphs generated from Mathematica
f(x) = x^2, g(x) = floor(|x|)

f(x) = sin(x), g(x) = sin(4x)

Ones I used maxima + gnuplot
f(x) = sin(x), g(x) = floor(x)

f(x) = sin(x), g(x) = x

f(x) = sin(x), g(x) = log(x)

f(x) = sin(x), g(x) = x^2

f(x) = sin(x), g(x) = sqrt(2)

I hope I know what this stuff Adam thought of is called.